Thoughts

I am astounded at our capacity to forge bonds.

Today was a day to remember my first such bond. My Grandma. Nana as we used to call her.

It was this day in 2001 that she passed on. I still remember her last words to me. She was unwell the whole night and all her family came to see her. Each morning I’d go get blessed by her before leaving to college. I did the same that morning, rushing to be blessed by her only to be shoved off by my sister and others who were trying to take care of her. I didn’t get a chance to get close to her, but as she was being led away from me, she tuened around and mouthed “God Bless”. It’s the last memory I have of her. Later they called me to the office to tell me that she had passed on and that someone would come to pick me up.

My nan, my role model, my jumble and crossword partner was gone. In just one day, I lost my confidante.

I remember how she always wore dresses and refused to give in to the shaming the locals heaped on her. Locals around the new house. The old community held her in very high regard.

Her life was anything but easy. But she worked as a seamstress and put food on the table, slapped sense into her children (IMHO not enough in a few cases). She didn’t complain to anyone or contradict their false assumptions. I wish she had done. She deserved to have her side of the story told.

I still remember you Nan. Your little pearls of wisdom. Your smile. Your habit of trying to make pressies out of bits of cloth from various dresses just to make someone happy.

I wish I had a chance to give you an easier life. I wish you had lived to experience the nicer things that exist. Thank you for everything you’ve given us. Thank you for my mum. Thank you for the love and wisdom you shared with me.

I’ll see you soon.