Ravings, Rants, Rendezvous with the voices in my head!
- People have been telling me to enjoy my trip. Enjoy it. Like that’s a possibility without you ma. I smiled politely at their comments. I cringed inwardly. They have no clue how difficult this is. I opened the drawer where I stored stuff I bought you from all my…
- I went to another funeral mass today, ma. Yes. One more. I met his wife earlier this year. She didn’t know me, but when she heard that you were gone, she gave me the tightest of hugs and her eyes filled with tears although she spoke words of encouragement….
- A new haircut. Dressing up. Looking great. Feeling gorgeous. Snapping a selfie to send it to you. Remembering you are not there. I miss you, mommy.
She was a queen. She was exalted.She was adored If you look carefully, you can still find remains of her glory days! #YouthIsntSacred #PastPrime
A wake up call. I was getting ready for my morning coffee when the girl behind the counter referred to me as Señora. I guess she was being polite, but instead of settling back into my routine of news about mayhem and madness it got me thinking of…- Seeing roses in my office garden, rushing to take pics to send to you, and realising… Telling myself mum would love that, I should tell her about it, then recalling… Publishing a photo I’m proud of, checking and rechedking for a comment that will no longer appear… a comment…
- Mum loved to dress up. She’d pleat her sarees to perfection and wear pearls or gold. And yes, her trademark brooch. Today, as we celebrated her around the world, we did so too. We dressed in what could be called our Sunday best! Mum loved flowers, so begoñas, hortensias…
- Traditionally we celebrate the 40th day of someone’s passing. Today marks the 40th day since mum joined the heavenly choir. Not being there in person to complete this last ritual is a heartbreaking choice a child is asked to make. Not being there, going to work and pretending that…
- The futility of it all. That’s all I could think of while eulogy after eulogy poured forth. Tears, sadness, guilt, remorse … After her retirement mum found it very difficult to adjust to not having much to do. 39 years in the same school left her in the same…
- Happy birthday, my rose. You loved being wished at 00:00 hours. You loved receiving flowers. You loved being sung to. You loved being the centre of attention, especially on your big day. I hope you get the message, that you are always the centre of attention.I can imagine you celebrating…
- I’ve always been a believer in ‘ask the universe for what you want and you’ll get it’. I asked. One thing I’ve always asked for was that moment when “life as I know it ceases to exist”. I expected it to be positive. After all, in the movie it…
- Today was about playing one thought over and over again in my head. Forgiveness. I’ve been battling that demon for a while now. Forgiving others is simpler than forgiving yourself. And part of me is stuck in that vortex. When your mind and heart are at battle, peace can…
- Years ago, I jumped on the prime wagon. One of the most attractive offers was “Unlimited Photo Storage”. When my External disk failed and caused much heartache, I realised I didn’t have any backup of my pics. I managed to get the disk read, but was still missing a…
The universe sent me a message… I heeded it! Still hurt for the choices I make. But then one grows up and realises that there are better things and better people to spend time on.- While practicing the harp today, it was only the minors that got played.
Jump from a plane… while it’s 4000 mts high. Meh, I said! My procrastination skills did almost cancel the whole experience. Too cold, too sad, too happy, friends said they’d like to join in, friends aren’t responding. A never ending list of reasons. But then, Time has a way…- I feel the weight. With each breath, with each passing second. Being pulled down, being held down. When prayers go unanswered. And loneliness is the order of the day.
Another year. Older, not much the wiser, but phew… what a journey. Looking back I have so many memories that will bring a smile on or cause a tear to roll. A rollercoaster of highs, lows, and in-betweens. The last year is one to remember, not all for good…
We walk through life wishing for so many things. Wishing, hoping, lighting candles, losing sleep over things our hearts desire. And while longing for that something, we forget to live in the moment. We may get what we long for, we may not, but in the in-betweens of hoping and…- Acer palmatum – Japanese maple: The bright afternoon invited a flurry of activity. I love sunny days, when spring sets the garden aflame with colour, I love walking around, touching the trees and flowers, encouraging them to bloom. The magnum opus of my garden is an “Acer palmatum” commonly…
